I finally did it! I finally got to see that elusive number “One” on the scale I’ve spent so much time working towards! I can’t even express how good this feels. It reminds me of the episodes of The Biggest Loser when the contestants get under the 200 pound mark. They call it Onederland. It was a place I hadn’t seen since 2002, shortly after the mailman and I got married. The scale had been hovering precariously close to the edge for days and days and days. Saturday morning, I woke up and 198.8!
Back in April, when I hit my 100 pound mark, I was at 211. So why on earth did it take May, June, July, August and most of September to lose 12 pounds? Was I focused on my weight loss? Yes! Was I eating healthy foods? Yes! Was I exercising? Yes! So what was the problem? I don’t really know that there was a problem, I was losing weight, my body was just losing slowly. I could have lost it faster if I would have really pushed, but I was focused on building muscle and building healthy, sustainable habits not just dropping pounds as quickly as I could.
Now that I’m healthier physically, it’s really amazing how the rest of me is changing as well. Treating myself better makes me realize I deserve better things. I don’t have room in my life for negative things and have tried to eliminate them as much as possible. This has really led to amazing things happening.
A few months ago, I was buying some smaller clothes, since I’ve had to do that a few times now, I was at Kohl’s, because that’s where cool mom’s like me shop, and I saw these really cute Alice in Wonderland themed clothes that were out because of the Through the Looking Glass Movie. I love Alice in Wonderland. I always have. But I saw this adorable top that said “Wonderland” with the cute white rabbit, and thought, “How perfect would that be? I’ll get it and I won’t wear it until I get under the 200 pound mark, and then it will be my own little inside joke that no one will get but me!” So I bought the top in a size Large, which that time the year before would have had to have been at least a 1X maybe a 2X. I got it home and tried it on and while it was cute, I told myself, “You should take this back because you are never going to wear it, it’s silly.” But I didn’t, I hung it up to think about it.
Fast forward to day one of our July “Staycation,” when the mailman woke up early, like 6:45 am early to drop the puppy off at the vet to get neutered, and on his way home called in to a radio trivia contest and won tickets to a concert. He came home and woke me up. “Hey, I know you are sleeping, and I don’t want to wake you up, but I just wanted to let you know that I won us tickets to see the Hollywood Vampires tomorrow night with backstage meet and greet passes.” I was still asleep, but my first thought was actually how far do I have to drive to see this concert, so I asked and he said, “The Fraze,” which is 10 minutes from us, so that was good, then my next thought was Hollywood Who? “The Hollywood Vampires-it’s Johnny Depp and Alice Cooper’s band.”
I was awake then. “I get to meet Johnny Depp?”
“That’s what they told me.” The mailman and I are alike in one way. We tend not to believe anything until we see it. But it was true. Alice Cooper and Johnny Depp. So guess what shirt I wore? That’s right, my favorite. Johnny Depp, who I have loved since the early 90’s.
I don’t know if he would have noticed my shirt or not, had the photographer not pointed it out to him. He said, “Hey that’s a cool shirt, look at her shirt, Johnny.” And Johnny said, “Oh yeah, darlin’ that’s a nice shirt. Nivens McTwisp.” Now, I don’t know how many of us actually remembered the rabbit’s name, but of course Johnny Depp knew that. He said a lot of other stuff too, but he spoke so quietly I couldn’t even tell what he was saying. But you don’t ask Johnny Depp to repeat himself. Check out my Alice headband too.
I look at this photo and it makes me emotional. Not emotional like the superfans who were there crying over meeting Johnny Depp and Alice Cooper or the ones who brought them gifts, the ones who drove hours to be there are paid thousands of dollars for these tickets. (Or the girl who baked Johnny a birthday cake. “I don’t even eat cake!” she kept saying.) But emotional because I know that one year earlier I would have been absolutely humiliated to have my picture taken with Johnny Depp. I would not have wanted to meet him. I would have been embarrassed. I would have scrutinized the picture and only thought about being twice as big as the rest of the people in the photo.
As it stands, I look absolutely normal. Nothing to be ashamed of here folks! I have looked at this photo quite a bit. I even cropped a couple of people out of it for my Fitbit profile pic, you can guess which two, my apologies to the mailman! But I haven’t found a single thing to be embarrassed of, and that is huge for me!
Here’s me posting this on Facebook!
I don’t know about you, but I think things happen for a reason. I think I bought that shirt for a reason, I think the mailman won those tickets for a reason, and think I have these photos to look back on for a reason. I think this is all symbolic of my journey, my story, my struggles. And the fact that I am absolutely a much different and better person today than I was a year and a half ago.
When I first posted this blog, this is one of the quotes I posted on “My Story” page:
“It’s no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
How true is this? Leave yesterday in the past. I’ll take the lessons I can learn from my mistakes and forget the rest. So many things I thought were true yesterday turned out not to be. So what? I changed the way I thought. I changed my mind. We have to be able to change our minds. If we can’t do that we’ll stay stuck where we are forever. Don’t get stuck!
I learned how to believe in myself. I learned how to believe that am capable of great things. That I am capable of anything I put my mind to.
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
“Why it’s simply impassible!
Alice: Why, don’t you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing’s impossible!”
We have to believe the impossible, or rather that nothing is impossible. If I thought that it would be impossible to lose over 100 pounds and take myself out of an extremely unhealthy way of living and an awful cycle of yo-yo dieting and turn it around while doing something I love, sharing my story, and helping others to do the same thing, I would still be sitting on the couch. Believe in yourself. Believe in the gifts God gave you. You can change your situation simply by changing the way you look at things.The way you believe. And listen to yourself!
“She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).”
This is all too true for me a lot of the time. I know what I’m supposed to be doing and I know where I want to be going. I just need to be disciplined and consistent in all areas. At once. When one area of my life is going well, I tend to focus our energy on the area that’s not. The area that needs improvement. I need to make sure I don’t lose focus and intensity in the areas that are going well either. I don’t want to divert all my energy toward the problem areas and drain all my energy on them. I know what needs to be done. I just need to listen to myself and do it. What about you?
So what’s next for me is to lose another 38 pounds. To continue with my fitness goals, building muscle, eating healthy. I’m working toward running a 5K. I’m continuing to work on my blogging goals, posting my story, growing my number of readers. I’m writing a cookbook. I’m working on some other things as well.
The most important thing for me with regard to my health and fitness, is not the number on the scale, but the symbolism that that particular number evokes is impossible, I know nothing is impossible, is difficult to ignore. My goal is to make sure that I never leave Onederland again! I think I kind of like it here. I celebrated my achievement with, don’t laugh, a shopping trip to Kohl’s.
Anyone else out there have a big milestone to celebrate? I’d love to hear about it…